The first ever chapter.
“Give yourself time to adjust and settled in, don’t rush into anything, you’ll have plenty of time.”
A quote that I have been hearing a lot lately. Who knew people were so understanding when you get a divorce? Not that I am complaining about their support, but why do I feel pitied by their ‘support’?
It’s not like I expected people to run after me with pitch forks, but I did half expect his part of the family to scream slurs at me. I mean, I did break their son’s heart and left their family in shamble.
Yet, they still love me. They still reach out and check in on me. They still send me loving messages and tell me that they will always love me. No hostility, no bad blood, no drama.
Is that the reason why I feel like I shouldn’t move on? Is that the reason why I feel guilty if I were to let myself fall in love with someone else?
It hasn’t been 2 months yet since I left, the freaking paperwork hasn’t even been finalized and I have no idea if my ex is seeing people or not. Even if he is, it wouldn’t hurt me, I actually will be thrill if he did. I know I don’t owe him anything, I mean, I left him the house, every piece of furniture we had, 90% of the household items, and I didn’t even ask for my share of the stocks or 401k. Some might say that I am stupid, but I just felt like I didn’t deserve them.
I am trying to look at the positive on things. I don’t have to worry about moving a bunch of stuff, this is a great start to my journey to minimalism. I am actually thinking of getting rid of more things, so there would be less reminder of my former life.
I am impatiently waiting for a new chapter to start, but I don’t want to initiate it. Can’t someone just come in and rescue me already? It doesn’t have to be permanent, it doesn’t have to be a perfect, it doesn’t even have to revolutionary, I just want a sign (a clear bold one) that I can have hope, that I didn’t make a horrible mistake leaving a stable cushy life.
I don’t want to resort back to my flight method. Running away can only be helpful if you have the money to support your craziness.
