Ep. 2 - Should Exes be friends

It’s not ‘can’ we be friends, it is ‘should’ we be friends.

I personally ever had a problem with my partner still in good term with their exes. I mean, they were apart of each other’s lives, and there had to be some good from it if your boyfriend or husband value the friendship aspect of it, right?

Depending on how long the relationship was, and if it was actually a relationship and not just a fling, I do think that there are some benefit in keeping contact with your ex.

Take me for example, I was married for 5 years. That means that there are a crap load of paperwork and legal accounts linked to each other. Wouldn’t it be beneficial for both parties to be on good terms so there will be no drama?

Now speaking in more mediocre terms, you would want to keep the streaming services, Amazon Prime perks, and other small subscriptions available right? Why loose out on taking advantage of that? :)

Of course, if you are dating someone or is in a new relationship, their opinion matters. I had boyfriends that was ok with it, and I had boyfriends that were not ok with me being friends with exes. I valued all of their feelings, but will advocate for what is best for me.

The debate is: is it appropriate for your partner to be on friendly term with someone that they had slept with? Shared a life with? Had romantic feelings for? What if there is absolutely no feelings left on your part but the ex might still be in love with you?

My argument is that, if I no longer feel anything for them, then there should be no qualm in staying in contact if need be. I am not saying that I will schedule lunches or plans with them. But maybe a catch up once in a while, just to check in on each other, that’s not a bad thing right?

My marriage ended on good term. There is no bad blood and we both are on very friendly term. Some might argue that it’s too friendly of a term, but we’re just trying to normalize the new and not cut each other’s out of one another life’s cold turkey.

We still love each other, not romantically, but caring for someone for almost a decade is a hard habit to break.

I just don’t want my ex to be in pain, or is struggling in anyway. Plus, I knew him the best, if I don’t take care of him when I know he is incapable of caring for himself (on certain things) I feel like it is still somewhat my responsibility. Is that weird?

My mother says that I care too much. Why give myself headaches? Why do more for others than they’re willing to do for me?